Both Uses

loathe
in
Hole in My Life
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Ironically, in spite of all the fear and remorse and self-loathing, being locked up in prison is where I fully realized I had to change my life for the better, and in one significant way I did.†
Chpt 1.1 *

loathing = disgust or intense dislike
I found myself crying, laughing, numb with depression, nervous and pacing, ambivalent, angry, and filled with self-loathing.†
Chpt 3.4

Definitions:

(1) (loathe)
hate, detest, or intensely dislike

Word Confusion: Do not confuse loathe with loath which sounds very similar or the same. Loathe is a verb while loath is an adjective describing "reluctance or unwillingness to do something." Note that loathing and loathsome are forms of the verb loathe even though both word forms lack the "e". Occasionally, you will see loath spelled as loathe even in a published book, but it is rare enough that it is generally considered an error rather than a non-standard spelling.
(2) (meaning too rare to warrant focus)