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Washington Irving
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Catch-22
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Washington Irving
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Catch-22
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  • On those he did read he wrote, ’Washington Irving.’
  • He’s looking for someone up in the hospital who’s been signing Washington Irving’s name to the letters he’s been censoring.
  • ’I never signed Washington Irving’s name to any letters,’ Milo declared.
  • He had sinned, and it was good, for none of the documents to which he had signed Washington Irving’s name ever came back!
  • Signing Washington Irving’s name to official documents was not much of a career, perhaps, but it was less monotonous than signing ’Major Major Major.’
  • When Washington Irving did grow monotonous, he could reverse the order and sign Irving Washington until that grew monotonous.
  • We figure that Washington Irving and Irving Washington are one man and that he’s using two names just to throw us off the track.
  • Washington Irving is the group chaplain.
  • Yours or Washington Irving’s?
  • I don’t even know Washington Irving’s name.
  • Now, you keep your eyes open and let me know the minute you hear anyone even talking about Washington Irving.
  • I came down to warn you that Washington Irving seems to have shifted his base of operations from the hospital to your squadron.
  • You haven’t heard anyone around here talking about Washington Irving, have you?’
  • He was talking about Washington Irving.
  • He didn’t say anything about Washington Irving, did he?’
  • As an additional precaution, he made a happy switch from Washington Irving to John Milton.
  • Like Washington Irving, he could be reversed with good effect whenever he grew monotonous.
  • Major Major went back to Washington Irving when John Milton grew monotonous.
  • Furthermore, he enabled Major Major to double his output, for John Milton was so much shorter than either his own name or Washington Irving’s and took so much less time to write.
  • One day — it was the day after the C.I.D. man’s first visit — Major Major signed Washington Irving’s name to one of the documents instead of his own, just to see how it would feel.
  • Major Major looked with a blank expression at copies of personal correspondence from the hospital on which the censoring officer had written ’Washington Irving’ or ’Irving Washington.’
  • From this meager beginning had sprung the ineffectual squadron commander who was now spending the better part of each working day in Pianosa forging Washington Irving’s name to official documents.
  • Major Major began forging Washington Irving’s name to official documents the day after the first C.I.D. man showed up to interrogate him about somebody at the hospital who had been doing it and gave him the idea.
  • They’re going to crack down on you for signing Washington Irving’s name to all those letters you’ve been signing Washington Irving’s name to.
  • They’re going to crack down on you for signing Washington Irving’s name to all those letters you’ve been signing Washington Irving’s name to.
  • ’I haven’t been signing Washington Irving’s name to any letters,’ said the chaplain.
  • I used Washington Irving’s name.’
  • How will it make a good impression for me if you signed Washington Irving’s name instead of my own?’
  • ’Because they’re convinced that you are Washington Irving.
  • Perhaps he really was Washington Irving, and perhaps he really had been signing Washington Irving’s name to those letters he knew nothing about.
  • Perhaps he really was Washington Irving, and perhaps he really had been signing Washington Irving’s name to those letters he knew nothing about.
  • I just can’t believe that anyone would seriously believe that I’ve been forging Washington Irving’s name.’
  • The next thing you know you’ll be claiming you’re Washington Irving.
  • They’re after a forger named Washington Irving.
  • You could even be,’ he added, ’Washington Irving, couldn’t you?
  • Washington Irving?’ the chaplain repeated with surprise.
  • He dreaded what Colonel Cathcart would think when the news that he was suspected of being Washington Irving was brought to him, then fell to fretting over what Colonel Cathcart was already thinking about him for even having broached the subject of sixty missions.
  • He had been made squadron commander but had no idea what he was supposed to do as squadron commander, unless all he was supposed to do was forge Washington Irving’s name to official documents and listen to the isolated clinks and thumps of Major — de Coverley’s horseshoes falling to the ground outside the window of his small office in the rear of the orderly-room tent.
  • ’Chaplain,’ he announced with magisterial rigidity, ’we charge you formally with being Washington Irving and taking capricious and unlicensed liberties in censoring the letters of officers and enlisted men.

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  • Washington Irving is credited with coining the expression The Almighty Dollar.
  • Washington Irving Junior High School.
    Gary D. Schmidt  --  Okay for Now

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