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Candide
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  • "Candide" has not aged.
  • INTRODUCTION Ever since 1759, when Voltaire wrote "Candide" in ridicule of the notion that this is the best of all possible worlds, this world has been a gayer place for readers.
  • "Candide" never bored anybody except William Wordsworth.
  • There is no social pity in "Candide."
  • "Candide" is only a "Hamlet" and a half long.
  • "Candide" is a full book.
  • Many propagandist satirical books have been written with "Candide" in mind, but not too many.
  • That is why the present is one of the right moments to republish "Candide."
  • I HOW CANDIDE WAS BROUGHT UP IN A MAGNIFICENT CASTLE, AND HOW HE WAS EXPELLED THENCE.
  • He combined a true judgment with simplicity of spirit, which was the reason, I apprehend, of his being called Candide.
  • The Preceptor Pangloss[1] was the oracle of the family, and little Candide heard his lessons with all the good faith of his age and character.
  • II WHAT BECAME OF CANDIDE AMONG THE BULGARIANS.
  • They went up to Candide and very civilly invited him to dinner.
  • "Gentlemen," replied Candide, with a most engaging modesty, "you do me great honour, but I have not wherewithal to pay my share."
  • "You are right," said Candide; "this is what I was always taught by Mr. Pangloss, and I see plainly that all is for the best."
  • Candide, all stupefied, could not yet very well realise how he was a hero.
  • As they were going to proceed to a third whipping, Candide, able to bear no more, begged as a favour that they would be so good as to shoot him.
  • An able surgeon cured Candide in three weeks by means of emollients taught by Dioscorides.
  • III HOW CANDIDE MADE HIS ESCAPE FROM THE BULGARIANS, AND WHAT AFTERWARDS BECAME OF HIM.
  • Candide, who trembled like a philosopher, hid himself as well as he could during this heroic butchery.
  • Candide fled quickly to another village; it belonged to the Bulgarians; and the Abarian heroes had treated it in the same way.
  • "I have not heard it," answered Candide; "but whether he be, or whether he be not, I want bread."
  • IV HOW CANDIDE FOUND HIS OLD MASTER PANGLOSS, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM.
  • Candide recoiled in disgust.
  • Upon which Candide carried him to the Anabaptist’s stable, and gave him a crust of bread.
  • As soon as Pangloss had refreshed himself a little: "Well," said Candide, "Cunegonde?"
  • Candide fainted at this word; his friend recalled his senses with a little bad vinegar which he found by chance in the stable.
  • Candide reopened his eyes.
  • "Well, this is wonderful!" said Candide, "but you must get cured."
  • V TEMPEST, SHIPWRECK, EARTHQUAKE, AND WHAT BECAME OF DOCTOR PANGLOSS, CANDIDE, AND JAMES THE ANABAPTIST.
  • Candide drew near and saw his benefactor, who rose above the water one moment and was then swallowed up for ever.
  • The villain swam safely to the shore, while Pangloss and Candide were borne thither upon a plank.
  • "This is the Last Day!" cried Candide.
  • Some falling stones had wounded Candide.
  • "Nothing more probable," said Candide; "but for the love of God a little oil and wine."
  • Candide fainted away, and Pangloss fetched him some water from a neighbouring fountain.
  • VI HOW THE PORTUGUESE MADE A BEAUTIFUL AUTO-DA-FE, TO PREVENT ANY FURTHER EARTHQUAKES; AND HOW CANDIDE WAS PUBLICLY WHIPPED.
  • VII HOW THE OLD WOMAN TOOK CARE OF CANDIDE, AND HOW HE FOUND THE OBJECT HE LOVED.
  • Candide, amazed at all he had suffered and still more with the charity of the old woman, wished to kiss her hand.
  • Candide, notwithstanding so many disasters, ate and slept.
  • The old woman knocked at a little door, it opened, she led Candide up a private staircase into a small apartment richly furnished.
  • "Take off that veil," said the old woman to Candide.
  • "Do so," replied Candide.
  • IX WHAT BECAME OF CUNEGONDE, CANDIDE, THE GRAND INQUISITOR, AND THE JEW.
  • He entered, and saw the whipped Candide, sword in hand, a dead man upon the floor, Cunegonde aghast, and the old woman giving counsel.
  • "My beautiful young lady," responded Candide, "when one is a lover, jealous and whipped by the Inquisition, one stops at nothing."
  • Immediately Candide saddled the three horses, and Cunegonde, the old woman and he, travelled thirty miles at a stretch.
  • X IN WHAT DISTRESS CANDIDE, CUNEGONDE, AND THE OLD WOMAN ARRIVED AT CADIZ; AND OF THEIR EMBARKATION.
  • "What then must we do?" said Candide.
  • Candide, Cunegonde, and the old woman, having passed through Lucena, Chillas, and Lebrixa, arrived at length at Cadiz.
  • This speech having raised extreme curiosity in the minds of Cunegonde and Candide, the old woman spoke to them as follows.
  • XIII HOW CANDIDE WAS FORCED AWAY FROM HIS FAIR CUNEGONDE AND THE OLD WOMAN.
  • At length, while the two kings were causing Te Deum to be sung each in his own camp, Candide resolved to go and reason elsewhere on effects and causes.
  • Candide listened attentively and believed innocently; for he thought Miss Cunegonde extremely beautiful, though he never had the courage to tell her so.
  • When Martin and Candide were sailing the length of the Mediterranean we should have had a contrast between naked scarped Balearic cliffs and headlands of Calabria in their mists.
  • Candide, yet more moved with compassion than with horror, gave to this shocking beggar the two florins which he had received from the honest Anabaptist James.
  • Candide thought himself in a dream; indeed, that he had been dreaming unluckily all his life, and that the present moment was the only agreeable part of it all.
  • While he was proving this a priori, the ship foundered; all perished except Pangloss, Candide, and that brutal sailor who had drowned the good Anabaptist.
  • She met Candide on reaching the castle and blushed; Candide blushed also; she wished him good morrow in a faltering tone, and Candide spoke to her without knowing what he said.
  • She met Candide on reaching the castle and blushed; Candide blushed also; she wished him good morrow in a faltering tone, and Candide spoke to her without knowing what he said.
  • She met Candide on reaching the castle and blushed; Candide blushed also; she wished him good morrow in a faltering tone, and Candide spoke to her without knowing what he said.
  • Candide, Cunegonde, and the old woman, had now reached the little town of Avacena in the midst of the mountains of the Sierra Morena, and were speaking as follows in a public inn.
  • Candide, walking always over palpitating limbs or across ruins, arrived at last beyond the seat of war, with a few provisions in his knapsack, and Miss Cunegonde always in his heart.
  • Candide was whipped in cadence while they were singing; the Biscayner, and the two men who had refused to eat bacon, were burnt; and Pangloss was hanged, though that was not the custom.
  • She likewise accepted her proposal, and engaged all the passengers, one after the other, to relate their adventures; and then both she and Candide allowed that the old woman was in the right.
  • The mitre and san-benito belonging to Candide were painted with reversed flames and with devils that had neither tails nor claws; but Pangloss’s devils had claws and tails and the flames were upright.
  • Next day Candide, all benumbed, dragged himself towards the neighbouring town which was called Waldberghofftrarbk-dikdorff, having no money, dying of hunger and fatigue, he stopped sorrowfully at the door of an inn.
  • Cunegonde lifted up her eyes to heaven; shed tears upon hearing of the death of the good Anabaptist and of Pangloss; after which she spoke as follows to Candide, who did not lose a word and devoured her with his eyes.
  • How is it possible, said I, that the beloved Candide and the wise Pangloss should both be at Lisbon, the one to receive a hundred lashes, and the other to be hanged by the Grand Inquisitor, of whom I am the well-beloved?
  • Candide, driven from terrestrial paradise, walked a long while without knowing where, weeping, raising his eyes to heaven, turning them often towards the most magnificent of castles which imprisoned the purest of noble young ladies.
  • At this discourse Candide fainted again; but coming to himself, and having said all that it became him to say, inquired into the cause and effect, as well as into the sufficient reason that had reduced Pangloss to so miserable a plight.
  • Candide did not take courage, but followed the old woman to a decayed house, where she gave him a pot of pomatum to anoint his sores, showed him a very neat little bed, with a suit of clothes hanging up, and left him something to eat and drink.
  • "What is a folliculaire?" said Candide.
  • Cunegonde, Captain Candide, and the old woman, waited on the Governor, Don Fernando d’Ibaraa, y Figueora, y Mascarenes, y Lampourdos, y Souza.
  • Candide obeyed, and the Governor remained alone with Miss Cunegonde.
  • I own, that if I were in your place, I should have no scruple in marrying the Governor and in making the fortune of Captain Candide.
  • The flight of Cunegonde and Candide was already known.
  • She then ran immediately to Candide.
  • XIV HOW CANDIDE AND CACAMBO WERE RECEIVED BY THE JESUITS OF PARAGUAY.
  • Candide had brought such a valet with him from Cadiz, as one often meets with on the coasts of Spain and in the American colonies.
  • "You have before been in Paraguay, then?" said Candide.
  • Candide and Cacambo were disarmed, and their two Andalusian horses seized.
  • Candide first kissed the hem of the Commandant’s robe, then they sat down to table.
  • "Yes, reverend Father," answered Candide.
  • "I am from the dirty province of Westphalia," answered Candide; "I was born in the Castle of Thunder-ten-Tronckh."
  • "What a miracle!" cried Candide.
  • "It is not possible!" said Candide.
  • He thanked God and St. Ignatius a thousand times; he clasped Candide in his arms; and their faces were all bathed with tears.
  • XV HOW CANDIDE KILLED THE BROTHER OF HIS DEAR CUNEGONDE.
  • Candide assured him on oath that nothing was more true, and their tears began afresh.
  • The Baron could not refrain from embracing Candide; he called him his brother, his saviour.
  • "Ah! perhaps," said he, "we shall together, my dear Candide, enter the town as conquerors, and recover my sister Cunegonde."
  • "That is all I want," said Candide, "for I intended to marry her, and I still hope to do so."
  • Candide in an instant drew his rapier, and plunged it up to the hilt in the Jesuit’s belly; but in pulling it out reeking hot, he burst into tears.
  • Candide and his valet had got beyond the barrier, before it was known in the camp that the German Jesuit was dead.
  • These sound reflections induced Candide to leave the meadow and to plunge into a wood.
  • "Do not despair," said he to the disconsolate Candide, "I understand a little of the jargon of these people, I will speak to them."
  • "Be sure," said Candide, "to represent to them how frightfully inhuman it is to cook men, and how very un-Christian."
  • Candide could not help being surprised at the cause of his deliverance.
  • XVII ARRIVAL OF CANDIDE AND HIS VALET AT EL DORADO, AND WHAT THEY SAW THERE.
  • "With all my heart," said Candide, "let us recommend ourselves to Providence."
  • [18] "Here, however, is a country," said Candide, "which is better than Westphalia."
  • "There," said Candide, "is the preceptor of the royal family."
  • The schoolmaster, smiling, flung them upon the ground; then, looking at Candide with a good deal of surprise, went about his business.
  • "Where are we?" cried Candide.
  • Cacambo was as much surprised as Candide.
  • "I will be your interpreter here," said he to Candide; "let us go in, it is a public-house."
  • Cacambo explained this whole discourse with great astonishment to Candide, who was as greatly astonished to hear it.
  • Candide acted now only a second character, and accompanied his valet.
  • At length Candide, having always had a taste for metaphysics, made Cacambo ask whether there was any religion in that country.
  • "Do you worship but one God?" said Cacambo, who still acted as interpreter in representing Candide’s doubts.
  • Candide was not yet tired of interrogating the good old man; he wanted to know in what manner they prayed to God in El Dorado.
  • Candide having a curiosity to see the priests asked where they were.
  • Candide and Cacambo threw themselves round his Majesty’s neck.
  • Candide asked to see the court of justice, the parliament.
  • Cacambo explained the King’s bon-mots to Candide, and notwithstanding they were translated they still appeared to be bon-mots.
  • Of all the things that surprised Candide this was not the least.
  • "We desire nothing of your Majesty," says Candide, "but a few sheep laden with provisions, pebbles, and the earth of this country."
  • They placed Candide and Cacambo on the machine.
  • XIX WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM AT SURINAM AND HOW CANDIDE GOT ACQUAINTED WITH MARTIN.
  • Candide, in his raptures, cut Cunegonde’s name on the trees.
  • "Good God!" said Candide in Dutch, "what art thou doing there, friend, in that shocking condition?"
  • "Was it Mynheer Vanderdendur," said Candide, "that treated thee thus?"
  • "Alas!" said Candide, "it is the madness of maintaining that everything is right when it is wrong."
  • He appointed to meet them at a public-house, whither Candide and the faithful Cacambo went with their two sheep, and awaited his coming.
  • Candide, who had his heart upon his lips, told the Spaniard all his adventures, and avowed that he intended to elope with Miss Cunegonde.
  • This was a thunderclap for Candide: he wept for a long while.
  • They embraced with tears; Candide charged him not to forget the good old woman.
  • Candide stayed some time longer in Surinam, waiting for another captain to carry him and the two remaining sheep to Italy.
  • Candide did not hesitate.
  • "Well, you shall have them," said Candide.
  • "Then you shall have thirty thousand," replied Candide.
  • Candide sold two small diamonds, the least of which was worth more than what the skipper asked for his freight.
  • Candide followed in a little boat to join the vessel in the roads.
  • Candide, dismayed and stupefied, soon lost sight of the vessel.
  • We must allow that the others were at least as wretched as he; but Candide hoped that the philosopher would entertain him during the voyage.
  • All the other candidates complained that Candide had done them great injustice; but he appeased them by giving one hundred piastres to each.
  • XX WHAT HAPPENED AT SEA TO CANDIDE AND MARTIN.
  • The old philosopher, whose name was Martin, embarked then with Candide for Bordeaux.
  • Candide, however, had one great advantage over Martin, in that he always hoped to see Miss Cunegonde; whereas Martin had nothing at all to hope.
  • "Surely you must be possessed by the devil," said Candide.
  • "There are, however, some things good," said Candide.
  • "It is true," said Candide; "there is something diabolical in this affair."
  • The French and Spanish ships continued their course, and Candide continued his conversation with Martin.
  • Candide caressed his sheep.
  • XXI CANDIDE AND MARTIN, REASONING, DRAW NEAR THE COAST OF FRANCE.
  • "Were you ever in France, Mr. Martin?" said Candide.
  • "For my part, I have no curiosity to see France," said Candide.
  • "But do you believe," said Candide, "that the earth was originally a sea, as we find it asserted in that large book belonging to the captain?"
  • "But for what end, then, has this world been formed?" said Candide.
  • "Yes, without doubt," said Candide.
  • "Oh!" said Candide, "there is a vast deal of difference, for free will——"
  • XXII WHAT HAPPENED IN FRANCE TO CANDIDE AND MARTIN.
  • Meanwhile, all the travellers whom Candide met in the inns along his route, said to him, "We go to Paris."
  • Scarcely was Candide arrived at his inn, than he found himself attacked by a slight illness, caused by fatigue.
  • However, what with physic and bleeding, Candide’s illness became serious.
  • Candide would do nothing for him; but the devotees assured him it was the new fashion.
  • The priest swore that they would not bury Candide.
  • Candide got well again, and during his convalescence he had very good company to sup with him.
  • Candide wondered why it was that the ace never came to him; but Martin was not at all astonished.
  • He first took Candide and Martin to La Comedie, where they played a new tragedy.
  • Candide happened to be seated near some of the fashionable wits.
  • "What a number!" said Candide.
  • Candide was very pleased with an actress who played Queen Elizabeth in a somewhat insipid tragedy[23] sometimes acted.
  • Candide, brought up in Germany, asked what was the etiquette, and how they treated queens of England in France.
  • "That was very uncivil," said Candide.
  • "Is it true that they always laugh in Paris?" said Candide.
  • "Who," said Candide, "is that great pig who spoke so ill of the piece at which I wept, and of the actors who gave me so much pleasure?"
  • [25] Thus Candide, Martin, and the Perigordian conversed on the staircase, while watching every one go out after the performance.
  • "Although I am eager to see Cunegonde again," said Candide, "I should like to sup with Miss Clairon, for she appears to me admirable."
  • Candide, who was naturally curious, let himself be taken to this lady’s house, at the end of the Faubourg St. Honore.
  • The Perigordian Abbe, Candide and Martin entered; no one rose, no one saluted them, no one looked at them; all were profoundly occupied with their cards.
  • As they were Germans, they sat a good while at table, waiting for the reverend Father Provincial, and the Commandant spoke to his dear Candide as follows.
  • Candide was more rejoiced at the recovery of this one sheep than he had been grieved at the loss of the hundred laden with the large diamonds of El Dorado.
  • As the old woman had shrewdly guessed, it was a Grey Friar who stole Cunegonde’s money and jewels in the town of Badajos, when she and Candide were escaping.
  • Candide having been in the Bulgarian service, performed the military exercise before the general of this little army with so graceful an address, with so intrepid an air, and with such agility and expedition, that he was given the command of a company of foot.
  • Candide and Cacambo got into the coach, the six sheep flew, and in less than four hours they reached the King’s palace situated at the extremity of the capital.
  • Candide, almost prostrating himself before him, cried: "Master Pangloss has well said that all is for the best in this world, for I am infinitely more touched by your extreme generosity than with the inhumanity of that gentleman in the black coat and his lady."
  • In saying this he drew a long poniard which he always carried about him; and not imagining that his adversary had any arms he threw himself upon Candide: but our honest Westphalian had received a handsome sword from the old woman along with the suit of clothes.
  • "Are you not greatly surprised," continued Candide, "at the love which these two girls of the Oreillons had for those monkeys, of which I have already told you?"
  • Candide respectfully obeyed her, and though he was still in a surprise, though his voice was feeble and trembling, though his back still pained him, yet he gave her a most ingenuous account of everything that had befallen him since the moment of their separation.
  • Candide shed tears.
  • The mathematicians took their leave after conveying them to a place of safety, and Candide had no other desire, no other aim, than to present his sheep to Miss Cunegonde.
  • The French captain soon saw that the captain of the victorious vessel was a Spaniard, and that the other was a Dutch pirate, and the very same one who had robbed Candide.
  • Candide being desirous of selecting from among the best, marked out about one-twentieth of them who seemed to be sociable men, and who all pretended to merit his preference.
  • Said Candide to Cacambo: "My friend, you see how perishable are the riches of this world; there is nothing solid but virtue, and the happiness of seeing Cunegonde once more."
  • Don Fernando d’Ibaraa, y Figueora, y Mascarenes, y Lampourdos, y Souza, turning up his moustachios, smiled mockingly, and ordered Captain Candide to go and review his company.
  • As he had great talent, he understood from all that he learnt of Candide that he was a young metaphysician, extremely ignorant of the things of this world, and he accorded him his pardon with a clemency which will bring him praise in all the journals, and throughout all ages.
  • As soon as dinner was over, Cacambo believed as well as Candide that they might well pay their reckoning by laying down two of those large gold pieces which they had picked up.
  • Voltaire, whose light touch on familiar institutions opens them and reveals their absurdity, likes to remind us that the slaughter and pillage and murder which Candide witnessed among the Bulgarians was perfectly regular, having been conducted according to the laws and usages of war.
  • "You will be more surprised, more affected, and transported," said Candide, "when I tell you that Cunegonde, your sister, whom you believe to have been ripped open, is in perfect health."
  • Candide was moved with pity; he had learned to fire a gun in the Bulgarian service, and he was so clever at it, that he could hit a filbert in a hedge without touching a leaf of the tree.
  • "It is a great pity," said Candide, "that the sage Pangloss was hanged contrary to custom at an auto-da-fe; he would tell us most amazing things in regard to the physical and moral evils that overspread earth and sea, and I should be able, with due respect, to make a few objections."
  • Candide gathered them up, ran to the master, and presented them to him in a most humble manner, giving him to understand by signs that their royal highnesses had forgotten their gold and jewels.
  • These last words determined Candide; he went and flung himself at the feet of the charitable Anabaptist James, and gave him so touching a picture of the state to which his friend was reduced, that the good man did not scruple to take Dr. Pangloss into his house, and had him cured at his expense.
  • Cacambo, who had been in a great many scrapes in his lifetime, did not lose his head; he took the Baron’s Jesuit habit, put it on Candide, gave him the square cap, and made him mount on horseback.
  • They returned their arms to Candide and Cacambo, and also the two Andalusian horses; to whom Cacambo gave some oats to eat just by the arbour, having an eye upon them all the while for fear of a surprise.
  • Candide and Martin could plainly perceive a hundred men on the deck of the sinking vessel; they raised their hands to heaven and uttered terrible outcries, and the next moment were swallowed up by the sea.
  • "You see," said Cacambo to Candide, as soon as they had reached the frontiers of the Oreillons, "that this hemisphere is not better than the others, take my word for it; let us go back to Europe by the shortest way."
  • This drove Candide to despair; he had, indeed, endured misfortunes a thousand times worse; the coolness of the magistrate and of the skipper who had robbed him, roused his choler and flung him into a deep melancholy.
  • Candide stayed in Bordeaux no longer than was necessary for the selling of a few of the pebbles of El Dorado, and for hiring a good chaise to hold two passengers; for he could not travel without his Philosopher Martin.
  • After rambling about the city the whole afternoon, and seeing but a thousandth part of it, they were reconducted to the royal palace, where Candide sat down to table with his Majesty, his valet Cacambo, and several ladies.
  • Candide was at once conducted to a beautiful summer-house, ornamented with a very pretty colonnade of green and gold marble, and with trellises, enclosing parraquets, humming-birds, fly-birds, guinea-hens, and all other rare birds.
  • Candide, in listening to all their adventures, was reminded of what the old woman had said to him in their voyage to Buenos Ayres, and of her wager that there was not a person on board the ship but had met with very great misfortunes.
  • Baron Thunder-ten-Tronckh passed near the screen and beholding this cause and effect chased Candide from the castle with great kicks on the backside; Cunegonde fainted away; she was boxed on the ears by the Baroness, as soon as she came to herself; and all was consternation in this most magnificent and most agreeable of all possible castles.
  • You know, my dear Candide, I was very pretty; but I grew much prettier, and the reverend Father Didrie,[16] Superior of that House, conceived the tenderest friendship for me; he gave me the habit of the order, some years after I was sent to Rome.
  • "The Baroness of Thunder-ten-Tronckh was more polite," said Candide.
  • "The great man!" said Candide.
  • "I have seen the worst," Candide replied.
  • "They are men who make the blots," said Candide, "and they cannot be dispensed with."
  • After supper the Marchioness took Candide into her boudoir, and made him sit upon a sofa.
  • "Yes, madame," answered Candide.
  • "With all my heart," said Candide.
  • Candide, returning with the Perigordian Abbe, felt some remorse in having been unfaithful to Miss Cunegonde.
  • His design was to profit as much as he could by the advantages which the acquaintance of Candide could procure for him.
  • "Yes, monsieur Abbe," answered Candide.
  • "Travellers are not treated thus in El Dorado," said Candide.
  • "But pray, sir, where are you going to carry us?" said Candide.
  • "And why," said Candide, "should all foreigners be arrested?"
  • "Ah, the monsters!" cried Candide.
  • XXIII CANDIDE AND MARTIN TOUCHED UPON THE COAST OF ENGLAND, AND WHAT THEY SAW THERE.
  • "What is all this?" said Candide; "and what demon is it that exercises his empire in this country?"
  • "But," replied Candide, "the French Admiral was as far from the English Admiral."
  • They coasted France; they passed in sight of Lisbon, and Candide trembled.
  • "God be praised!" said Candide, embracing Martin.
  • "We need only ask them to dine with us," said Candide, "and you will see whether I am mistaken."
  • Mr. Candide does not know Paquette again.
  • Candide had not viewed her as yet with attention, his thoughts being entirely taken up with Cunegonde; but recollecting her as she spoke.
  • Candide wanted no more convincing; he owned that Martin was in the right.
  • Martin turned towards Candide with his usual coolness.
  • Candide gave two thousand piastres to Paquette, and one thousand to Friar Giroflee.
  • "You are very hard of belief," said Candide.
  • "You see those gondoliers," said Candide, "are they not perpetually singing?"
  • Candide immediately sent to ask the Lord Pococurante permission to wait upon him the next day.
  • Candide and Martin went in a gondola on the Brenta, and arrived at the palace of the noble Signor Pococurante.
  • He received the two travellers with polite indifference, which put Candide a little out of countenance, but was not at all disagreeable to Martin.
  • Candide could not refrain from commending their beauty, grace, and address.
  • After breakfast, Candide walking into a long gallery was surprised by the beautiful pictures.
  • Candide found the music delicious.
  • Candide disputed the point a little, but with discretion.
  • Candide, seeing a Homer magnificently bound, commended the virtuoso on his good taste.
  • "But your Excellency does not think thus of Virgil?" said Candide.
  • "May I presume to ask you, sir," said Candide, "whether you do not receive a great deal of pleasure from reading Horace?"
  • Candide, having been educated never to judge for himself, was much surprised at what he heard.
  • "Oh! here is Cicero," said Candide.
  • "And what dramatic works I see here," said Candide, "in Italian, Spanish, and French."
  • Candide, observing a Milton, asked whether he did not look upon this author as a great man.
  • Candide was grieved at this speech, for he had a respect for Homer and was fond of Milton.
  • "Oh! what a superior man," said Candide below his breath.
  • After their survey of the library they went down into the garden, where Candide praised its several beauties.
  • "But is there not a pleasure," said Candide, "in criticising everything, in pointing out faults where others see nothing but beauties?"
  • "Well, well," said Candide, "I find that I shall be the only happy man when I am blessed with the sight of my dear Cunegonde."
  • XXVI OF A SUPPER WHICH CANDIDE AND MARTIN TOOK WITH SIX STRANGERS, AND WHO THEY WERE.
  • Candide and Martin did not doubt that this was a masquerade of the Carnival.
  • But the sixth valet spoke differently to the sixth stranger, who sat near Candide.
  • The servants being all gone, the six strangers, with Candide and Martin, remained in a profound silence.
  • At length Candide broke it.
  • XXVII CANDIDE’S VOYAGE TO CONSTANTINOPLE.
  • No sooner had Candide got on board the vessel than he flew to his old valet and friend Cacambo, and tenderly embraced him.
  • "What a series of shocking calamities!" cried Candide.
  • "Ah!" said Candide, "if Pangloss were here, he could tell."
  • "That may well be," said Candide.
  • In a few days they reached the Bosphorus, and Candide began by paying a very high ransom for Cacambo.
  • Candide, from a natural impulse, looked at these two slaves more attentively than at the other oarsmen, and approached them with pity.
  • "Stop! stop! sir," cried Candide.
  • "What! it is Candide!" said one of the slaves.
  • "What! it is Candide!" said the other.
  • Candide embraced the Baron and Pangloss a hundred times.
  • "Then I behold, once more, my dear Candide," cried Pangloss.
  • Candide presented Martin and Cacambo to them; they embraced each other, and all spoke at once.
  • "But you, my dear Pangloss," said Candide, "how can it be that I behold you again?"
  • XXIX HOW CANDIDE FOUND CUNEGONDE AND THE OLD WOMAN AGAIN.
  • She embraced Candide and her brother; they embraced the old woman, and Candide ransomed them both.
  • She embraced Candide and her brother; they embraced the old woman, and Candide ransomed them both.
  • At the bottom of his heart Candide had no wish to marry Cunegonde.
  • Candide, Martin, and Pangloss sometimes disputed about morals and metaphysics.
  • "It is a great question," said Candide.
  • Candide did not quite agree to that, but he affirmed nothing.
  • "But, reverend father," said Candide, "there is horrible evil in this world."
  • Pangloss, Candide, and Martin, returning to the little farm, saw a good old man taking the fresh air at his door under an orange bower.
  • "You must have a vast and magnificent estate," said Candide to the Turk.
  • Candide, on his way home, made profound reflections on the old man’s conversation.
  • "I know also," said Candide, "that we must cultivate our garden."
  • "All that is very well," answered Candide, "but let us cultivate our garden."
  • The Abbe redoubled his politeness and attentions, and took a tender interest in all that Candide said, in all that he did, in all that he wished to do.
  • This charming, this unhoped-for letter transported Candide with an inexpressible joy, and the illness of his dear Cunegonde overwhelmed him with grief.
  • Each of them gave twenty sequins to King Theodore to buy him clothes and linen; and Candide made him a present of a diamond worth two thousand sequins.
  • But Candide paid no regard to these newcomers, his thoughts were entirely employed on his voyage to Constantinople, in search of his beloved Cunegonde.
  • Upon their arrival at Venice, Candide went to search for Cacambo at every inn and coffee-house, and among all the ladies of pleasure, but to no purpose.
  • In consequence hereof, they had seized on a Biscayner, convicted of having married his godmother, and on two Portuguese, for rejecting the bacon which larded a chicken they were eating[7]; after dinner, they came and secured Dr. Pangloss, and his disciple Candide, the one for speaking his mind, the other for having listened with an air of approbation.
  • He spoke much of Cunegonde, and Candide told him that he should ask forgiveness of that beautiful one for his infidelity when he should see her in Venice.
  • Cacambo did not come, and Candide was so overwhelmed with grief that he did not even reflect that Paquette and Friar Giroflee did not return to thank him.
  • Candide sent directly for two Jews and sold them some more diamonds, and then they all set out together in another galley to deliver Cunegonde from slavery.
  • The girl blushed, the Theatin accepted the invitation and she followed him, casting her eyes on Candide with confusion and surprise, and dropping a few tears.
  • And Candide put it on.
  • "Well," said Candide to Martin when they had taken their leave, "you will agree that this is the happiest of mortals, for he is above everything he possesses."
  • At this moment, the following is what passed in the soul of Candide, and how he reasoned: If this holy man call in assistance, he will surely have me burnt; and Cunegonde will perhaps be served in the same manner; he was the cause of my being cruelly whipped; he is my rival; and, as I have now begun to kill, I will kill away, for there is no time to hesitate.
  • While they were disputing on this important subject and waiting for Cunegonde, Candide saw a young Theatin friar in St. Mark’s Piazza, holding a girl on his arm.
  • There was a small farm in the neighbourhood which the old woman proposed to Candide to make a shift with till the company could be provided for in a better manner.
  • Most of the punters, who understood nothing of this language, drank, and Martin reasoned with the scholar, and Candide related some of his adventures to his hostess.
  • The faithful Cacambo had already prevailed upon the Turkish skipper, who was to conduct the Sultan Achmet to Constantinople, to receive Candide and Martin on his ship.
  • Upon the first proposal made by Candide, however, the Levantine captain had already tacked about, and made the crew ply their oars quicker than a bird cleaves the air.
  • The lady then put a plump hand out from the bed, and Candide bathed it with his tears and afterwards filled it with diamonds, leaving a bag of gold upon the easy chair.
  • The lady having perceived two enormous diamonds upon the hands of the young foreigner praised them with such good faith that from Candide’s fingers they passed to her own.
  • Cunegonde did not know she had grown ugly, for nobody had told her of it; and she reminded Candide of his promise in so positive a tone that the good man durst not refuse her.
  • "Alas!" replied Candide, "I remember to have heard Master Pangloss say, that formerly such accidents used to happen; that these mixtures were productive of Centaurs, Fauns, and Satyrs; and that many of the ancients had seen such monsters, but I looked upon the whole as fabulous."
  • "Well, my dear Pangloss," said Candide to him, "when you had been hanged, dissected, whipped, and were tugging at the oar, did you always think that everything happens for the best?"
  • The next day after dinner, as they went from table, Cunegonde and Candide found themselves behind a screen; Cunegonde let fall her handkerchief, Candide picked it up, she took him innocently by the hand, the youth as innocently kissed the young lady’s hand with particular vivacity, sensibility, and grace; their lips met, their eyes sparkled, their knees trembled, their hands strayed.
  • The next day after dinner, as they went from table, Cunegonde and Candide found themselves behind a screen; Cunegonde let fall her handkerchief, Candide picked it up, she took him innocently by the hand, the youth as innocently kissed the young lady’s hand with particular vivacity, sensibility, and grace; their lips met, their eyes sparkled, their knees trembled, their hands strayed.
  • Immediately he ordered his irons to be struck off, acknowledged himself mistaken, sent away his men, set out with Candide and Martin for Dieppe, and left them in the care of his brother.
  • Instantly Candide sent for a Jew, to whom he sold for fifty thousand sequins a diamond worth a hundred thousand, though the fellow swore to him by Abraham that he could give him no more.
  • Candide’s melancholy increased; and Martin continued to prove to him that there was very little virtue or happiness upon earth, except perhaps in El Dorado, where nobody could gain admittance.
  • XXVIII WHAT HAPPENED TO CANDIDE, CUNEGONDE, PANGLOSS, MARTIN, ETC. "I ask your pardon once more," said Candide to the Baron, "your pardon, reverend father, for having run you through the body."
  • XXVIII WHAT HAPPENED TO CANDIDE, CUNEGONDE, PANGLOSS, MARTIN, ETC. "I ask your pardon once more," said Candide to the Baron, "your pardon, reverend father, for having run you through the body."
  • Pangloss drew up an excellent memorial, wherein he proved that the Baron had no right over his sister, and that according to all the laws of the empire, she might marry Candide with her left hand.
  • The old woman then put in her word, saying: "There are three Andalusian horses in the stable with bridles and saddles, let the brave Candide get them ready; madame has money, jewels; let us therefore mount quickly on horseback, though I can sit only on one buttock; let us set out for Cadiz, it is the finest weather in the world, and there is great pleasure in travelling in the cool of the night."
  • The Norman, who by the virtue of three more diamonds had become the most subservient of men, put Candide and his attendants on board a vessel that was just ready to set sail for Portsmouth in England.
  • "Ah! captain," said Candide, "what ransom will you take for Monsieur de Thunder-ten-Tronckh, one of the first barons of the empire, and for Monsieur Pangloss, the profoundest metaphysician in Germany?"
  • To-day, especially, when new faiths are changing the structure of the world, faiths which are still plastic enough to be deformed by every disciple, each disciple for himself, and which have not yet received the final deformation known as universal acceptance, to-day "Candide" is an inspiration to every narrative satirist who hates one of these new faiths, or hates every interpretation of it but his own.
  • What helped to confirm Martin in his detestable principles, to stagger Candide more than ever, and to puzzle Pangloss, was that one day they saw Paquette and Friar Giroflee land at the farm in extreme misery.
  • As Miss Cunegonde had a great disposition for the sciences, she breathlessly observed the repeated experiments of which she was a witness; she clearly perceived the force of the Doctor’s reasons, the effects, and the causes; she turned back greatly flurried, quite pensive, and filled with the desire to be learned; dreaming that she might well be a sufficient reason for young Candide, and he for her.
  • "Do you believe," said Candide, "that men have always massacred each other as they do to-day, that they have always been liars, cheats, traitors, ingrates, brigands, idiots, thieves, scoundrels, gluttons, drunkards, misers, envious, ambitious, bloody-minded, calumniators, debauchees, fanatics, hypocrites, and fools?"
  • Candide, advised by Martin and impatient to see the real Cunegonde, rather than expose himself before a court of justice, proposed to the officer to give him three small diamonds, each worth about three thousand pistoles.
  • The tender, loving Candide, seeing his beautiful Cunegonde embrowned, with blood-shot eyes, withered neck, wrinkled cheeks, and rough, red arms, recoiled three paces, seized with horror, and then advanced out of good manners.
  • Candide, petrified at this speech, made answer: "Reverend Father, all the quarterings in the world signify nothing; I rescued your sister from the arms of a Jew and of an Inquisitor; she has great obligations to me, she wishes to marry me; Master Pangloss always told me that all men are equal, and certainly I will marry her."
  • Candide was so shocked and bewildered by what he saw and heard, that he would not set foot on shore, and he made a bargain with the Dutch skipper (were he even to rob him like the Surinam captain) to conduct him without delay to Venice.
  • Twenty beautiful damsels of the King’s guard received Candide and Cacambo as they alighted from the coach, conducted them to the bath, and dressed them in robes woven of the down of humming-birds; after which the great crown officers, of both sexes, led them to the King’s apartment, between two files of musicians, a thousand on each side.
  • Candide listened with attention to this discourse, and conceived a great idea of the speaker, and as the Marchioness had taken care to place him beside her, he leaned towards her and took the liberty of asking who was the man who had spoken so well.
  • The manner in which he asked the question alarmed Candide; he durst not say she was his wife, because indeed she was not; neither durst he say she was his sister, because it was not so; and although this obliging lie had been formerly much in favour among the ancients, and although it could be useful to the moderns, his soul was too pure to betray the truth.
  • Martin, having recovered himself a little, judged that the lady who acted the part of Cunegonde was a cheat, that the Perigordian Abbe was a knave who had imposed upon the honest simplicity of Candide, and that the officer was another knave whom they might easily silence.
  • [34] One evening that Candide and Martin were going to sit down to supper with some foreigners who lodged in the same inn, a man whose complexion was as black as soot, came behind Candide, and taking him by the arm, said: "Get yourself ready to go along with us; do not fail."
  • [34] One evening that Candide and Martin were going to sit down to supper with some foreigners who lodged in the same inn, a man whose complexion was as black as soot, came behind Candide, and taking him by the arm, said: "Get yourself ready to go along with us; do not fail."
  • It is natural to imagine that after so many disasters Candide married, and living with the philosopher Pangloss, the philosopher Martin, the prudent Cacambo, and the old woman, having besides brought so many diamonds from the country of the ancient Incas, must have led a very happy life.
  • "Father," said Candide to the Friar, "you appear to me to enjoy a state that all the world might envy; the flower of health shines in your face, your expression makes plain your happiness; you have a very pretty girl for your recreation, and you seem well satisfied with your state as a Theatin."
  • Besides, Candide was possessed of money and jewels, and though he had lost one hundred large red sheep, laden with the greatest treasure upon earth; though the knavery of the Dutch skipper still sat heavy upon his mind; yet when he reflected upon what he had still left, and when he mentioned the name of Cunegonde, especially towards the latter end of a repast, he inclined to Pangloss’s doctrine.
  • Candide, distracted between joy and grief, delighted at seeing his faithful agent again, astonished at finding him a slave, filled with the fresh hope of recovering his mistress, his heart palpitating, his understanding confused, sat down to table with Martin, who saw all these scenes quite unconcerned, and with six strangers who had come to spend the Carnival at Venice.
  • While Candide, the Baron, Pangloss, Martin, and Cacambo were relating their several adventures, were reasoning on the contingent or non-contingent events of the universe, disputing on effects and causes, on moral and physical evil, on liberty and necessity, and on the consolations a slave may feel even on a Turkish galley, they arrived at the house of the Transylvanian prince on the banks of the Propontis.
  • However, the Abbe whispered to the Marchioness, who half rose, honoured Candide with a gracious smile, and Martin with a condescending nod; she gave a seat and a pack of cards to Candide, who lost fifty thousand francs in two deals, after which they supped very gaily, and every one was astonished that Candide was not moved by his loss; the servants said among themselves, in the language of servants:— "Some English lord is here this evening."
  • However, the Abbe whispered to the Marchioness, who half rose, honoured Candide with a gracious smile, and Martin with a condescending nod; she gave a seat and a pack of cards to Candide, who lost fifty thousand francs in two deals, after which they supped very gaily, and every one was astonished that Candide was not moved by his loss; the servants said among themselves, in the language of servants:— "Some English lord is here this evening."
  • However, the Abbe whispered to the Marchioness, who half rose, honoured Candide with a gracious smile, and Martin with a condescending nod; she gave a seat and a pack of cards to Candide, who lost fifty thousand francs in two deals, after which they supped very gaily, and every one was astonished that Candide was not moved by his loss; the servants said among themselves, in the language of servants:— "Some English lord is here this evening."
  • "There can be no effect without a cause," modestly answered Candide; "the whole is necessarily concatenated and arranged for the best.
  • "Oh, Pangloss!" cried Candide, "what a strange genealogy!
  • "Who are you?" said Candide; "who has inspired you with so much goodness?
  • "What, is it you?" said Candide, "you live?
  • I hope I shall see it," said honest Candide.
  • "Had not Pangloss been hanged," said Candide, "he would give us good counsel in this emergency, for he was a profound philosopher.
  • "We are going into another world," said Candide; "and surely it must be there that all is for the best.
  • "All will be well," replied Candide; "the sea of this new world is already better than our European sea; it is calmer, the winds more regular.
  • Pangloss sometimes said to Candide: "There is a concatenation of events in this best of all possible worlds: for if you had not been kicked out of a magnificent castle for love of Miss Cunegonde: if you had not been put into the Inquisition: if you had not walked over America: if you had not stabbed the Baron: if you had not lost all your sheep from the fine country of El Dorado: you would not be here eating preserved citrons and pistachio-nuts."
  • Candide, terrified, amazed, desperate, all bloody, all palpitating, said to himself: "If this is the best of possible worlds, what then are the others?
  • "Alas!" said Candide, "dear Pangloss has often demonstrated to me that the goods of this world are common to all men, and that each has an equal right to them.
  • "Alas!" said Candide, "I know this love, that sovereign of hearts, that soul of our souls; yet it never cost me more than a kiss and twenty kicks on the backside.
  • What shall we do without Cunegonde?" said Candide.
  • "How can you ask me to eat ham," said Candide, "after killing the Baron’s son, and being doomed never more to see the beautiful Cunegonde?
  • Candide seeing the cauldron and the spits, cried: "We are certainly going to be either roasted or boiled.
  • "How go back?" said Candide, "and where shall we go? to my own country?
  • Cacambo, who was as good a counsellor as the old woman, said to Candide: "We are able to hold out no longer; we have walked enough.
  • During this whole discourse Candide was in raptures, and he said to himself: "This is vastly different from Westphalia and the Baron’s castle.
  • "Oh, Pangloss!" cried Candide, "thou hadst not guessed at this abomination; it is the end.
  • "[21] "You jest," said Candide; "there are no longer Manicheans in the world."
  • "You see," said Candide to Martin, "that crime is sometimes punished.
  • "[22] "How many dramas have you in France, sir?" said Candide to the Abbe.
  • "[24] "Queens on the highway!" said Candide.
  • Candide frequently said to Cacambo: "I own, my friend, once more that the castle where I was born is nothing in comparison with this; but, after all, Miss Cunegonde is not here, and you have, without doubt, some mistress in Europe.
  • " "Alas! madame," said Candide, "I will answer you as you wish."
  • "I have never received any from her," said Candide, "for being expelled from the castle on her account I had not an opportunity for writing to her.
  • The following day Candide received, on awaking, a letter couched in these terms: "My very dear love, for eight days I have been ill in this town.
  • "My dear Cunegonde," said Candide, weeping, "how are you?
  • Ah, my dear Cunegonde, what sort of a world is this?" said Candide on board the Dutch ship.
  • "At least you will allow me," said Candide to Martin, "that these two are happy.
  • No sooner had she set foot in Candide’s apartment than she cried out: "Ah!
  • "Let that be as it may," said Candide, "but one thing consoles me.
  • "You see," said Candide to Martin on the way, "we supped with six dethroned kings, and of those six there was one to whom I gave charity.
  • "But," said Candide, "it was a very strange adventure we met with at Venice.
  • "Well, handsome or ugly," replied Candide, "I am a man of honour, and it is my duty to love her still.
  • "Do I dream?" cried Candide; "am I awake? or am I on board a galley?
  • "I foresaw," said Martin to Candide, "that your presents would soon be dissipated, and only make them the more miserable.
  • "[33] Paquette thus opened her heart to honest Candide, in the presence of Martin, who said to his friend: "You see that already I have won half the wager."
  • "People talk," said Candide, "of the Senator Pococurante, who lives in that fine palace on the Brenta, where he entertains foreigners in the politest manner.
  • "Thou foolish fellow," said Candide; "I have delivered thee out of the galleys, I have paid thy ransom, and thy sister’s also; she was a scullion, and is very ugly, yet I am so condescending as to marry her; and dost thou pretend to oppose the match?
  • This was not the way to Venice, but Candide thought he had made his way out of hell, and reckoned that he would soon have an opportunity for resuming his journey.
  • "But," said Candide to Paquette, "you looked so gay and content when I met you; you sang and you behaved so lovingly to the Theatin, that you seemed to me as happy as you pretend to be now the reverse."
  • Pangloss made answer in these terms: "Oh, my dear Candide, you remember Paquette, that pretty wench who waited on our noble Baroness; in her arms I tasted the delights of paradise, which produced in me those hell torments with which you see me devoured; she was infected with them, she is perhaps dead of them.

  • There are no more uses of "Candide" in the book.


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  • Candide is Voltaire’s most famous work and is probably taught more than any other work of French literature.
  • One sunny afternoon I was loitering on the bench in front of the electric shop in the sun, listlessly trying to read a slim volume of Candide that some wiseacre had sent me.
    Piper Kerman  --  Orange Is the New Black

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