When you choose an elder, you renounce your own will and yield it to him in complete submission, complete self-abnegation.
This novitiate, this terrible school of abnegation, is undertaken voluntarily, in the hope of self-conquest, of self-mastery, in order, after a life of obedience, to attain perfect freedom, that is, from self; to escape the lot of those who have lived their whole life without finding their true selves in themselves.
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The monk practices self-abnegation.
Abnegation discourages anything done strictly for my own enjoyment,