If the day were half as tremendous to any other professional gentleman in Doctors’ Commons as it was to me, I sincerely believe he made some expiation for his share in that rotten old ecclesiastical cheese.
My horror of having committed a thousand offences I had forgotten, and which nothing could ever expiate — my recollection of that indelible look which Agnes had given me — the torturing impossibility of communicating with her, not knowing, Beast that I was, how she came to be in London, or where she stayed — my disgust of the very sight of the room where the revel had been held — my racking head — the smell of smoke, the sight of glasses, the impossibility of going out, or even getting…
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She knows she can’t expiate her sins, but hopes to heal some of the wounds.
And when there is also a feeling of guilt to be overcome, and, maybe, expiated,