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Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
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Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
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  • Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, ’Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?’
  • ’I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.’
  • ’It’s the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,’ said the Queen.
  • So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.
  • ’I’ll tell it her,’ said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: ’sit down, both of you, and don’t speak a word till I’ve finished.’
  • ’Once,’ said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, ’I was a real Turtle.’
  • ’When we were little,’ the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, ’we went to school in the sea.
  • ’We called him Tortoise because he taught us,’ said the Mock Turtle angrily: ’really you are very dull!’
  • At last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, ’Drive on, old fellow!
  • ’You did,’ said the Mock Turtle.
  • ’With extras?’ asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
  • ’And washing?’ said the Mock Turtle.
  • ’Ah! then yours wasn’t a really good school,’ said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief.
  • ’I couldn’t afford to learn it.’ said the Mock Turtle with a sigh.
  • Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said ’What else had you to learn?’
  • ’Well, I can’t show it you myself,’ the Mock Turtle said: ’I’m too stiff.
  • ’I never went to him,’ the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: ’he taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.’
  • ’Ten hours the first day,’ said the Mock Turtle: ’nine the next, and so on.’
  • ’Of course it was,’ said the Mock Turtle.
  • CHAPTER X. The Lobster Quadrille The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper across his eyes.
  • At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he went on again:— ’You may not have lived much under the sea—’
  • ’Two lines!’ cried the Mock Turtle.
  • ’Of course,’ the Mock Turtle said: ’advance twice, set to partners—’
  • ’Then, you know,’ the Mock Turtle went on, ’you throw the—’
  • ’Turn a somersault in the sea!’ cried the Mock Turtle, capering wildly about.
  • ’Would you like to see a little of it?’ said the Mock Turtle.
  • ’Come, let’s try the first figure!’ said the Mock Turtle to the Gryphon.
  • ’Oh, as to the whiting,’ said the Mock Turtle, ’they—you’ve seen them, of course?’
  • ’I don’t know where Dinn may be,’ said the Mock Turtle, ’but if you’ve seen them so often, of course you know what they’re like.’
  • ’You’re wrong about the crumbs,’ said the Mock Turtle: ’crumbs would all wash off in the sea.
  • But they HAVE their tails in their mouths; and the reason is—’ here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes.
  • ’ ’They were obliged to have him with them,’ the Mock Turtle said: ’no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.’
  • ’Of course not,’ said the Mock Turtle: ’why, if a fish came to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With what porpoise?"
  • ’I mean what I say,’ the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone.
  • ’Explain all that,’ said the Mock Turtle.
  • ’It all came different!’ the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully.
  • ’Well, I never heard it before,’ said the Mock Turtle; ’but it sounds uncommon nonsense.’
  • ’I should like to have it explained,’ said the Mock Turtle.
  • ’But about his toes?’ the Mock Turtle persisted.
  • ’Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?’
  • ’Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,’ Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended tone, ’Hm!
  • ’Chorus again!’ cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just begun to repeat it, when a cry of ’The trial’s beginning!’ was heard in the distance.
  • The Mock Turtle’s Story ’You can’t think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old thing!’ said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice’s, and they walked off together.
  • The Mock Turtle went on.
  • The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked with sobs, to sing this:— ’Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot tureen!
  • These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an occasional exclamation of ’Hjckrrh!’ from the Gryphon, and the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle.
  • ’Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,’ the Mock Turtle replied; ’and then the different branches of Arithmetic—Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.’
  • They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break.
  • Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her repeating ’YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM,’ to the Caterpillar, and the words all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath, and said ’That’s very curious.’
  • ’Back to land again, and that’s all the first figure,’ said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.
  • So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:— ’ "Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a snail.
  • ’Well, there was Mystery,’ the Mock Turtle replied, counting off the subjects on his flappers, ’—Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography: then Drawling—the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel, that used to come once a week: HE taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.’
  • …hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate guests to execution—once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the Duchess’s knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it—once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard’s slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.
  • ) ’Up, lazy thing!’ said the Queen, ’and take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history.
  • When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon, Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, And concluded the banquet—] ’What IS the use of repeating all that stuff,’ the Mock Turtle interrupted, ’if you don’t explain it as you go on?
  • …to dull reality—the grass would be only rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the reeds—the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells, and the Queen’s shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy—and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the confused clamour of the busy farm-yard—while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle’s heavy sobs.

  • There are no more uses of "mockery" in the book.

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  • I will not permit the defendant to make a mockery of this trial.
  • Abuses at Abu Ghraib made a mockery of American idealism.

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